I wish my penis had an off switch
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Bring me that man meat
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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