do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
