You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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