I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
