Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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