and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize