we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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