if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
