I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
we made out on top of his cat.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
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