My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize