Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize