Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize