Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
if you like me you must not know who I am
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
