3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
