I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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