I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Dicks are not precious.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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