How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
