i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
It's just like the Real World with babies
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
