He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
