i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize