Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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