i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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