it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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