Me. At least after what I've been through.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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