this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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