Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
