Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Send help, water and tortillas.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
