rhymes with "ouble enetration"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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