So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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