He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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