Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
