his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
