Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
