I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
