Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Moan for me like Helen Keller
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize