it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I forgot wine drunk hurts
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
