I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
