did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
