We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
