He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
