um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
