I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize