We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
