Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My room smells like vodka and shame
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
