I hate your face
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize