Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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