there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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