I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
