i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
