Plan B is the new Plan A
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
