I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
