the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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