We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize