I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Mom said you looked used
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
