I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
