Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Houston, we have a blender
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
