Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
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