I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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