Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
it glows. i had to have it.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
i believe in u and ur pee
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
