This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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