Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
