I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
