I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
