If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
But break dance skills will only take you so far
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
