Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
